Getting to Know Yourself Through Writing
By Gail-Elaine Tinker, M.S. Psychotherapist
Mankind has always had an impulse to tell stories. Since the beginning, we have found ways to tell our stories orally, pictorially, via hieroglyph, and then written language. Technology of the paper, pen, book, printing press, the radio, recording, all made storytelling leap far ahead from the fire-lit days of oral history. Throughout history, the journal has remained the most steadfast and personal writing form, next to the letter.
Keeping a journal has many positive benefits, like improving personal growth and development. This works by recording thoughts regularly, where you will gain insight into your behaviors and moods. Journaling can also be used for problem-solving and so it can reduce stress and improve self-esteem. Studies have been conducted which have shown journaling to improve mental and physical health. When you keep a journal there are very few ‘rules,’ you can do whatever you want; however, here are a couple things to keep in mind:
- If you are writing confidential matters on paper, on a computer, or online, be aware other people could see them unless you are careful to safeguard the ideas. Please keep private information guarded from people who might not be trustworthy. You can lock up your journal if you need to and put passwords on computers. Keep copies of your journals if you plan to share or publish them. Never post private information via blogs on the internet.
- When you write in a journal, it is a good idea to date each entry. If you quote someone’s words, put “ ” quotation marks around the statement and say who said it. It will help you know what is happening when you re-read it in the future. If you mention a book or movie, try to name it properly, so you can figure out what you mean sometime later. Sometimes it helps to think of a stranger reading your words, how would ‘they’ know what you mean if you don’t explain it fully?
Not every journal needs to be a chronological listing. There are so many ways to write your story in a unique way. Here is a list of ideas to get you started:
- A project journal: start a ‘significant project’ and keep a journal throughout. Likewise, a trip or travel journal. For example, take up Italian at the local college and then go to Italy on vacation, keep a journal of the entire process; your growth, experience, the people you meet, things you see -all fascinating!
- A stream of consciousness journal, as in ‘morning pages’ described by Julia Cameron in her book, ‘The Artist’s Way.’
- Write about life from this moment, appreciating the present. Be descriptive.
- Keep a list of favorite quotations. Talk about why they inspire you. Find out about the people who spoke the words.
- Start a journal of self-portraits. Use every medium you can think of. See how they are reflective of your inner-self at the time.
- Write about a grief or loss and how you have overcome it. Loss of a person, pet, job, place… it all matters.
- Keep a nature or garden journal to connect with the natural world. This is a very common type of journal and has helped the advancement of science.
- Maintain a log of life successes. Not a brag book, an instruction manual. You can learn so much about your approach to life from this type.
- Think about a historical journal, which looks at not only your life, but the lives of those around you and events which have shaped their behaviors. For instance, your time in war or motherhood… then compare to your last 3 generations.
- Keep a log of your favorite songs. Explain why they inspire you.
- A gratitude or a prayer journal is a way to view life from a larger perspective. There are many ideas on the internet on how this might be done.
- If there’s something you are struggling with or an event that’s disturbing you, write about it in the third person. If you get bogged down, don’t hesitate to consult a therapist or clergy on this.
- Keep a journal correspondence with someone with whom you ‘need’ to speak; dead, alive, or fictional – which you will never send. “Dear ___” can be a wonderful way to open up!
- Consider a scrapbooking project which tells a story via narrative and pictures. Even a random collage can bring forth amazing insights to lead to creative journaling.
- Some people tell their story while reporting or relating facts of another issue. This is a sophisticated type of personal storytelling; for instance, describing research of ‘outer space,’ but relating how you, yourself, are impacted by this information. It isn’t just dry facts, but you feel something – dread, excitement, competitiveness, or what have you.
There are so many more ways to tell your story via journal, the most important thing is that you do so. Making time in your day is critical; of course everyone feels ‘too busy’ for such a luxurious activity. However once the benefits of journaling are accrued – the mental and physical health – then the time spent will make sense. So awaking 30 minutes earlier, turning off the TV 30 minutes sooner at night, or sequestering oneself at lunch to take that time to write instead of mindlessly chat or read magazines… will be refreshing. Soon you will realize that so much can be done in short amounts of time that you may stop putting things off and grow more efficient.
The point is to get to know yourself better. As you write you ‘hear’ your inner-self speaking. Are you kind in voice, or are you self-punishing? This is where you can re-read your words and SEE if, in actuality, how you are regarding yourself and amend your ways to be the best you can be. Can listening to your inner-voice assist in dealing with your grief, depression, anxiety? Yes, ask your therapist. Conversing with your inner-self does not mean you are ‘crazy,’ it means you are ‘in touch.’
Did you know journaling can turn to ‘Memoir’ writing, after a while, if you develop a strong practice? This is idealistic, but not too far-fetched. Just steadily focus on you goal and you will see that a view is unfolding. The point is to be as kind to yourself as you are with others, to treat yourself as you would an honored guest in your home. Via journaling you will see how you treat yourself day to day and be able to make changes. If you are unable to make changes, this points to needing the assistance of a qualified psychotherapist to assist you. You deserve to be treated well by yourself. Your journaling has uncovered an important clue to unhappiness.
Gail-Elaine Tinker, M.S., RM, CH, NCC, LPC has a General Practice of Psychotherapy in Lehigh Valley, PA. She specializes in trauma, grief, narcissism, and chronic pain/illness issues. Her practice features life coaching, talk-therapy, reiki, transformative art, hypnosis, and narrative therapy. Gail-Elaine offers individual, internet, small group, workshop, and advocacy. If you care to avail yourself of the offer of one free email question and reply with me of a non-emergency nature, please email through my website. For anything else, you may call 610-216-4319 or tinkerpsychotherapy.com.
Copyright © 2016 – Gail-Elaine Tinker
Tinker Psychotherapy and Gail-Elaine Tinker, M.S. does not discriminate against anyone because of age, sex, marital/family status, race, color, religious beliefs, ethnic origin, place of residence, veteran status, physical disability, health status, sexual orientation, or criminal record unrelated to present dangerousness. This is a personal, ethical commitment, as well as required by federal law. I will always take steps to advance and support the values of equal opportunity, human dignity, and racial/ethnic/cultural diversity. If you believe you have been discriminated against, please bring this matter to my attention immediately.
