How Long Does It Take To Quit A Habit?
10 Steps to Quitting a Bad Habit
Gail-Elaine Tinker, M.S., CH, NCC, LPC
Psychotherapist and Hypnotherapist
Bad habits can be annoying, disruptive, gross, time-wasting, expensive, and seemingly unbreakable. However, it is important to determine if a repetitive action is a habit or something worse. Let’s start with nail-biting as it is often an action due to anxiety or stress. It becomes conditioned overtime, as the distraction is momentarily helpful. It is a habit and it can be broken with hard work and determination.
Now let’s look at smoking, there are certainly ‘habit-like’ attributes to smoking. It is also a stress reliever which is reinforced over time. However, smoking is also an addiction. The nicotine in cigarettes target areas of the brain which are more than habitual a switch in the brain makes the smoker need more and more to function. Weight gain is quite similar, as due to a stress or depression, one seeks food which is comforting, in turn, this food creates a minor euphoric reaction in brain chemistry. It is both a habit and addiction.
Another discussion is repetitive action due to an Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. The personal regularly flips light switches, washes hands, turns a key 3 times, wipes counters, or checks to see if an appliance is on numerous times. They may even look like superstitions – like ‘knock on wood’ for good luck. While these behaviors look like habits, there is a great deal more going on. OCD is a neurobiological condition, which may be hereditary. It takes a great deal of therapy and possibly medication to treat this serious condition. Likewise, stuttering, tics, hand tremors, and repetitive fears are not strictly habits, but bona fide medical concerns.
So, perhaps you now identify the behavior you wish to change is a genuine habit. Understand that many habits are caused and maintained by stress, anxiety, and boredom so looking at level of those qualities can help you. Of course, some habits are caused by deeper issues to be examined in therapy. Sometimes there is a fear behind the habit, for instance, if your house was robbed, in the following months you might be extra careful about locking up. This is a fear based solidly in reality, there is a good reason for this and many other habits. However, if it continues or grows worse, professional help may need to assist in eliminating the habit. So, what beliefs, fears, or stress is behind your habit? Taking the time to address this facet of the habit can be very helpful.
A new common habit is excessive checking texts, social media, news, emails, or weather on your smartphone. There is a sense of importance and connection, however, it also divides your attention to matters at hand. The idea is that habits provide benefit, they work when you need them, but to stop, you need to replace the habit with a better behavior. The closer to the habit behavior, the better. If you want the habit to take hold, you must be consistent.
Compare how our animal friends handle stress, boredom, and insecurity. Many dogs and cats will lick at their paws excessively and pace around repeatedly, which becomes habitual to the animal. Distressed birds will pull their own feathers in stress. If we were to stop a dog from chewing his paws, we could address the boredom or stress, plan to distract by playing music, hiding treats around the house, more exercise and attention, and rewarding positive behaviors. Of course, ruling out a medical reason for the habit is important in animals and people.
10 Steps to Quitting a Bad Habit
Step 1: Develop awareness of the role your habit is in your life.
Awareness is the ability to see the bad habit. Start out by noticing the habit. Can you determine patterns of your behavior? Let’s say you scratch your arms all day, become aware that you do it. Look at how and when you tend to do it. Ask yourself what you are feeling as you do it, for instance, boredom or stress. Who is with you as you do it? Is there a medical or mental health aspect to your habit? Monitoring such information will lead to better understanding and planning.
Step 2: Decide on a substitute for your unwanted habit.
For success, have a plan for how you will act when you are called by your habit. For example, if you know you will be tempted to eat while watching tv, substitute with a fresh vegetable plate with a hummus dip. Plan how you will start your day without coffee, cigarette, scratching arms, or skipping breakfast habits. Substitute hot water with lemon and mint as a wake-up drink, do some deep breathing and distract yourself from the urge to start the day smoking, lather your arms with a healing cream, and pre-plan your breakfast, setting up the ingredients in such a way that you won’t leave the house hungry. Also, it is strongly suggested that you do not try to eliminate more than one habit at a time.
Step 3: Eliminate behavior triggers.
Your environment is set up to trigger your habit, so this is the place to put in effort. Look at the primary urges. “I feel bored, let’s check Facebook or Twitter to see what people are discussing. Boredom is the trigger. Put your phone in a drawer, so you are not tempted. If snacking after dinner is due to stress, come to understand why you are stressed. Stress is the trigger. Get rid of snack foods, so they don’t tempt a binge. Make a list of great ideas for you to spend your time more wisely – go for a walk, do a bit of yoga, take deep breaths, use aroma therapy, or explore a hobby.
Step 4: Get support.
Decide which of your friends and family will be supportive of your change. You don’t deserve peer pressure to reinforce the habit. If drinks after work are a time-suck, but you enjoy the venting; what about going home to journal about your feelings? Ask a friend to be a diet, workout, non-smoking, no more time-wasting buddy. Hold one another accountable for positive strides and slip-ups. AA and OA are examples of when a support group can be wildly helpful. Online supports through groups and apps can be another way to join forces. Hypnosis and psychotherapy are another way to gain support for behavior change.
Step 5: Monitor your self-talk and provide self-visualizations.
Instead of punishing yourself with judgmental thoughts regarding your plumpness, substitute the food and exercise behavior, then visualize yourself achieving your goal. Be as specific as possible. See yourself in a new dress or suit, feeling confident for any occasion. Do not focus on setbacks. Self-talk need to be positive. Just like an athlete practices, then specifically sees themselves achieving the score. Hypnosis and meditation can assist in providing a better way to communicate with yourself.
Step 6: Plan for failures.
Everyone messes up! You are bound to, no matter how motivated you are. You are going to skip a workout, get caught eating cake in the break-room, pick up a cigarette upon hearing difficult news, bite your nails; which will require self-forgiveness and a “get back on the horse” mentality. Get yourself back on track as soon as possible.
Step 7: It is going to take time.
It is generally agreed that the proper amount of time a habit behavior can be extinguished, is about 90 days. Of course, it can be faster or slower for your habit. The point is not to expect instant success. Visualize being clear of your habit in the 3 months or next season ahead and see yourself free and feeling wonderful in every way.
Step 8: Understand transformation.
Sometimes it can feel as if you are changing your entire identity by reworking habits. If you stop drinking alcohol, are you still going to be fun at parties? When you succeed at not smoking, will you miss going outside to catch a puff? Your habits need not define you, as you are much more than the habit itself. Go back to planning behavior changes and visualize success. For instance, if you are avoiding biting your fingernails, perhaps a manicure will transform your identity as a non-nail-biter.
Step 9: Be your best self.
The addition of a new routine or habit can be highly useful in quitting. Generally, more exercise is a great way to raise your endorphins naturally, without the habit. Take up a hobby to keep yourself busy when feeling triggered – knitting or whittling could be calming and productive. Decluttering your home can reduce stress and anxiety, helping you beat any habit. Soaking in a warm bath, with a burning candle, and scented salts can reduce your stress, no matter how stubborn it seems. Meal planning can improve anyone’s life, no matter the habit you wish to attack. Playing with a child or pet can be highly relaxing.
Step 10: Reward yourself.
Not to say that a reward is skipping the plan and returning to the habit, it means finding ways to encourage yourself. Buy some plants for the garden as a reward; each day you walk by, your self-commitment will be reinforced. Imagine a reward such as a trip, vacation, evening with friends to reward your efforts, some people put the amount they would spend on a habit in a jar, the result is extra funds for a fun activity. Promise yourself a weekly massage, if you stay on track 90% of the time. Treat yourself for milestones: 2 weeks, 4 weeks, 2 months, and 4 months. Keeping track of accomplishment on a paper or electronic calendar can add to a sense of control and mastery.
All in all, stopping a bad habit can be a difficult but rewarding endeavor. It could be a small accomplishment or a major life-changer, you will always be able to call yourself a “former” indulger in a bad habit. Visualize your life in terms of being free from an annoying habit. Bad habits have been broken throughout the ages, so yours can be inspired by that. Just the awareness and attempt to eliminate a problem behavior speaks well to your character. Best of luck to you!
If you are having trouble and difficulty with something you consider a habit, please consider professional assistance. There in no shame in asking for help. Seek out a psychotherapist, clergy, or physician for help. Additional help can be found in Hypnotherapists, Life Coaches, and other sub-specialties of care.
Gail-Elaine Tinker, M.S., CH, NCC, LPC is a private practice psychotherapist in Bethlehem, PA. She helps people with anxiety, depression, stress, trauma, grief, and chronic pain. She takes many insurances and credit cards. To contact her, you may call 610-216-4319 and leave a voicemail, which will be responded to ASAP.
